Bad dreams...help wanted!

I keep having bad dreams! As a counselor, I would say that is one characteristic of having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I haven't had any traumatic experiences that would warrant this type of dream. Last night's dream alone consisted of robbery, shooting (seeing other people die and me getting shot at), explosions, running from scary people, helping an injured cat, heart attacks and surgeries, etc. What in the world? This happens at least four times a week on average, although not always as extreme. I don't watch violent tv shows or movies for this reason. I even turn away when it is a violent commercial. I may just have a very wild imagination but I'm wondering if anyone knows anything about certain foods that cause this more than others...maybe caffeine or something. If you know of any tricks, let me know!

Answered prayers

So first of all, I'm really bad about blogging. I get an idea and think, 'I should blog about that' and then I never do. Well here's a short one...

Sometimes I forget to pray about little things...pretty often actually. I'm usually quick to act and try to take care of things or just stress about them for hours or sometimes even days and then ask myself why I haven't prayed about the situation yet. Last week I tried to pray about little things or things about which I had no control and God answered them! Here are some examples:

I prayed Brian and Cate would feel better so that my sister and her family could come to Virginia and surprise my parents on Christmas...they felt better (or decent) and they drove down on Christmas Day.

I prayed that Tara would get to my parents house before my parents did on the night of Christmas...and they did, by about ten minutes.

I prayed that the apple store would replace Luther's phone with no issue since the button had stopped working a week before and he dropped it in water before we could get to the apple store for the button issue. First of all, the phone turned back on with no problem (answered prayer) and the apple store replaced it within ten minutes of us being there. Praise God!

I prayed that the 'storm' coming Friday night and Saturday morning wouldn't be much at all so that the rest of our family could come visit while Tara was down...the storm missed our area and the radar map literally showed a split in the storm that caused it to miss us completely. It turned out to be a beautiful day and we got to spend the day with my aunt and uncle and cousins from South Carolina.

God answers prayers, big and small, especially when we ask him:)

Bye Bye Summer

How many times have I heard that time will go faster that older I get? Well, I believe it! Not only did the last school year go fast, but summer seemed to FLY by. I went back to work last week and it seriously seemed like I was just there! I know I have seven weeks off which I will never complain about but time goes so quickly that it is a little scary! Summer started with spending some days by the pool with a co-worker. At the end of June, we took a trip to a beach in New Jersey. I so needed a beach trip. It seems that I hit a wall just about every March when I am so emotionally spent from my job that I crave the beach and relaxation that summer can bring. Since we went to New Jersey, Tiffany, Tristan, and baby Jaxon were able to come stay with us! We also had friends from home drive up for part of the week too. Luther was a trooper since he hates the beach and the sand while I soaked in every minute possible. We got to spend a few days at the beach and hang around in the town. We also all took kayaks out which was a lot of fun. I was sad to see that week end and I'm already excited about the next beach trip, whenever that might be!

  


  

                                                                     


















After the beach, I spent a few weeks at home not doing too much. At the end of July, we went to Montana for Eric and Andrea's wedding. It was definitely a whirlwind week with a lot of busy activities but it was a lot of fun being together as a family. It is sad to me that both of my siblings live so far away because I know that we won't have many opportunities to all be together so I try to take in the few times that we do have. Montana was pretty but I definitely call Virginia home! I think the thing that was most shocking to me was how spread apart the cities are. We joked that we dread going to the next town over which is only about 10 miles when it is hours to get to a lot of the places out west. I'm thankful for all that we got to see and do while we were in Montana and I am so happy for my brother and new sister-in-law.

Group shot at Bear Tooth Pass

Before the wedding at Springhill Pavilion, Bozeman, MT

The Newlyweds!

And while I didn't get to go back to Zambia this summer, I have been trying to put forth effort in continuing to grow in my faith and my experiences with Christ. I read a couple of books this summer to help with that, Kisses from Katie  and One Thousand Gifts . I'm looking for studies or books that challenge me but that aren't way over my head (any suggestions?!?).  I still think about Zambia every day and wish I could go back but who knows what God has in store for me. Whatever it is, I know His plan for me is better than any plan I could have for myself.

Until next time...

What can I say?

So I realize that I haven't posted anything since I got back from Zambia...the main reason for this is because since I have returned from Africa, nothing going on in my little world seems nearly important enough to write about. I don't get through a day without thinking about what I witnessed there and truly wishing I could move my whole family to Zambia so I could just live there and do nothing else. That was definitely an experience that I will never forget and my heart continues to yearn to be with those people each and every day.



Besides my outlook on life, nothing else has really changed for us! I went back to work in August after having the summer off. Things continue to be really busy at work. I took a second job as a crisis counselor for a local children's advocacy center and I really enjoy it. I get to practice all my clinical skills and work with big and little people:) It is a nice change from the kiddos I see all day. I'm finishing my internship this week and will then be submitting all of my paperwork to be licensed as a school counselor!!! My LPC is probably not going to be done until the next school year but I'm still working on it:) Luther and I are thinking about putting our house on the market in mid to late spring and have been looking around at open houses to see what we want in our next house. We also got to visit with friends in North Carolina a few weeks back which was very refreshing for me. I made some awesome friends at grad school and I am sad that everyone has returned to their lives in separate places!


I'm going to list some things I'm looking forward to in the next few weeks/months:
1) Eric is coming home for Christmas!!
2) Mariely is coming home for Christmas!!
3) Snow days
4) Meeting Tiffany's baby:)
5) Putting our house on the market
6) Summer break
7) Kara is getting married
8) Eric is getting married- Vacation time in Montana!

That's all I can think of right now! I am always looking forward to the time I get to spend with friends and family :) I would love nothing more than to travel back to Zambia with more friends and family but that isn't on a to-do list yet!

Merry Christmas to everyone! I'm sure I won't be writing anything else before then!

Zambia

So the trip finally came...and went. I can't believe it's over already and now it's time to go back to work. I'm going to attempt to summarize the trip without writing a book but it was such an amazing experience that writing short comments about it won't do the trip any justice! Here goes nothing!!


We left Dulles at 10:10 p.m. (turned into 11:00 p.m. because our plane wasn't moving!) on Thursday, July 7. We got to London at 10:00 a.m. (but our bodies felt like 5 a.m.). Since we had such a long layover, we decided to take a tour of London. I had done my research before we left and had purchased tickets for The Original Tour to take us around London. Although we did not end up with much time in the city, The Original Tour was a great way to see a lot of things in a short amount of time! I had been to London when I was 13 but I do not remember many of the sites. It was a fun (and very chilly) way to see London before getting back on a plane!

 

We got back for our 7 pm flight (our bodies feeling like it was 2pm) and headed to Lusaka, Zambia. We arrived at 6 am on Saturday (our bodies now feeling like it is midnight) and we had a full day of events planned on little to no sleep! We were exhausted! We had an orientation and then took a tour of the Grippis Community, where we would be spending the majority of our time. The kids were so excited to see our bus pulling into the compound and came running from all over. They all grabbed onto our hands and walked around with us. I loved it!

Stella was the first one to take my hand. She is adorable. She is a double orphan and lives with a large family who cares for her.

Sunday we went back to Grippis for church. The thing I learned very quickly about Grippis (and probably Africa in general) is that the singing is amazing. The people are so lively and have so much joy when they are singing praise songs. That was one of the best experiences I had on the trip- listening and watching all of the different people singing praises to God. After church we headed into Lusaka for lunch and for the Sunday market. The market was the only chance we would have to purchase souvenirs. It was overwhelming because everyone reaches out to you and asks you to buy something from their stand. They give you a price and then you bargain. The money in Zambia is called kwacha and about 4,800 kwacha is equal to one dollar. Talk about confusing! They're asking for like 20,000 kwacha for a really small item and then you have to remember that 20,000 kwacha is only about $4! Kim and I mastered the market by the end of the time there (we had about 2-3 hours) and I was able to find something for my list of 20 or so people.

Monday we took a tour of the entire Grippis Farm Community. We saw and met families who are participating in the animal husbandry projects. Some of the families have been given rabbits and/or chickens as a business. The families are responsible for raising the animals and then they can sell them for money. Some of the successful families have about 20 rabbits. When they are selling them, they give 3 rabbits to another family within the community so that family can also have a chance to raise the animals.

One of the successful men showing us his rabbits! He had almost 20!

One of the biggest problems, if not the biggest problem, is the lack of support from many of the men in the community. There are 2 bars in the compound that start playing their loud (and fun) music around 8:00 a.m. The men take the money that their wives have made and spend it all on alcohol. They drink all day and then come home and beat their wives and children. It is so frustrating and my prayer is that these men will wake up and start seeing the success of the other families who are participating in these projects and making money. Maybe they will see their success and realize that they can also have the same success if they stop drinking.  After the tour of Grippis, we went to the location of the animal husbandry project. There we saw turkeys, chickens, rabbits, and even a goat. The students who are sponsored for secondary school ($50 a month) have to take care of the animals on Sundays so that they learn responsibility.

After our tour of Grippis, we went to the Kasisi Orphanage. That was one of the saddest parts of our entire trip! We took the tour of the orphanage and everything was so neat and clean. Then we turn the corner to the sleeping quarters and it smells terribly of urine. The kids are like leeches, starving for attention. We took a class of children to a patio to play for a couple hours. We taught them some songs (Father Abraham was pretty funny) and played duck-duck-goose! The children that held on to us first, never left. When other children approached us to also get some attention, the kids on us would punch and kick to get them off. It was so sad and overwhelming. We spent a few hours and when we got home, we felt so dirty from all of the urine and felt so sad from the emotional neediness of the children. That was my first experience in an orphanage so maybe that is pretty standard, but man is it heartbreaking. They have over 200 orphans at the orphanage and Zambia just recently opened up international adoptions; however, you have to live in Zambia for TWO YEARS before they will let you adopt a child.  The kids at Grippis are poor and dirty and some of them are orphans, but they are not as desperate for the emotional love and connection as the kids at Kasisi.

Our actual mission:

We started our routine on Tuesday and basically kept the same plan until Friday. My dad and I were responsible for taking pictures of the school children so they can get sponsors. Some of them have sponsors, but not many. For $15 a month, you can sponsor a child's food and education. The entire $15 goes to the community, unlike many organizations who are paying overhead and other costs. To become a sponsor, go to Grassroots Heroes and fill out the donate form. In the comment box, indicate that you want your monthly donation to go for a sponsorship and you will receive information on your sponsored child.

Jacob and Yvone. The two kids Luther and I sponsor each month. 

We had 2 translators with us to help with the pictures. Wisdom helped me by asking the kids names so I could put them on a dry erase board for the first picture. This helped us so that we wouldn't get the kids mixed up now that we're back home and organizing the information. Foster John wrote out the family information that I had requested from each student. If you become a sponsor, you will be given some information about the child, his/her family, the child's picture, and the family's picture. I have spent so many hours compiling all of this information and there have been times when I just start crying. I find myself getting frustrated and weary that these kids do not have sponsors or that the kids are orphans and it seems like there is little hope. It is at that time that I click on another picture and see another smiling, beautiful face. There is such a mix of emotions that I knew would happen but that I don't know how to handle. I feel frustrated and angry but also hopeful, joyful, and passionate about this mission. I want to do so much for these people but don't know where to start. The needs are so overwhelming. I start to feel burdened and then I get rejuvenated and excited for the challenge. God is there. His children love him. The kids and adults sing praises and are so passionate about the love they feel for God, despite their circumstances. They are hopeful and grateful for all things. They are amazing examples of faithful servants. Teams go to these places hoping the help the people when in reality, it is the people that teach and help the teams.

Back to the mission:
After the pictures and family histories were taken, I helped in the medical clinic. A pediatrician from our church went and over the 3.5 days of the medical clinic, 371 patients were seen. I helped give out the medications. Many of the people were experiencing headaches and backaches but they don't just have Ibuprofen like we do. Some people had malaria or HIV. Some had worms. The majority of the people were so thankful and did not get impatient even when waiting in line for hours to see the doctor.

On Friday, I got to hand out the dresses and flip flops that were donated by a co-workers mother. She made 49 little dresses with matching flip flops and she was so excited to find someone going on a trip who could give them out and take pictures. We ended up separating the flip flops from the dresses so that more kids would receive something. The boys were given the choice of soap or shampoo and they were thankful to receive something. It was fun handing them out but I was feeling really stressed that we would not have enough and I wasn't sure what to do if we ran out. I should have known that God would provide. He fed the 5,000 with little food so why was I even worried? Every school child received something, even if it wasn't his/her first choice. The dresses were a big hit and the lady who made them has already started on a batch for next year! What an amazing blessing that she is using her talents to bless others!

Wearing their new dresses!

Trying to size the dresses

For the weekend, we went on a safari. This was a good chance to recover from the week we had.  The Mukambi Safari Lodge  is a pretty incredible place. We went on 4 safari drives and saw hippos, lions, antelope, leopards, warthogs, baboons, elephants, etc. It was amazing. We stayed two nights and then returned to Lusaka.

Basil, the hippo, sleeping IN the lodge

Leopard

Our last day in Zambia, we drove to Siovanga to give bibles to Chief Chipepo. We spent time worshipping with the pastors and we had communion with them. We had purchased 60 bibles in the pastors' native language. When we opened the boxes, they ran to them and were pushing to get their bible. Some of them hugged their new bible while others cried over receiving one. They were so passionate, thankful, and excited to receive a bible when we have tons of them in our houses that aren't even touched. I crave the desire and passion that they have. 

Reflections: So this was a very long post even though I tried to make it as short as possible! I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to go to Zambia. A special thanks goes out to all who supported us financially who made this experience possible. I am very thankful that I had the opportunity to go with my dad. This was an experience like none other. I was filthy, covered in dust, peed on, uncomfortable, freezing cold, and sick for much of the trip but I was so blessed to be in their presence. The love and joy that they display and the way that they praise God in ALL things is just incredible to me. My mission for that village is far from over. I pray that God will continue working in the village and in my heart. He is definitely stirring things up and it is awesome to see His work. After coming home, I read Psalm 34 and was amazed at how much I am reminded of the people of Grippis when I read this passage. They are amazing people and I can only hope and pray that I will have the opportunity again to come face to face with them and share in the excitement and promise of God's love. Thanks to everyone who prayed and supported us to go on this mission. My life and my heart will be forever changed. 

Psalm 34:

I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.
 ⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.
⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them.
 ⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
   I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
¹² Whoever of you loves life
   and desires to see many good days,
¹³ keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from telling lies.
¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it.
 ¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
   and his ears are attentive to their cry; 
¹⁶ but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
   to blot out their name from the earth.
 ¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
   he delivers them from all their troubles.
¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
   and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
 ¹⁹ The righteous person may have many troubles,
   but the LORD delivers him from them all;
²⁰ he protects all his bones,
   not one of them will be broken.
 ²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
   the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
²² The LORD will rescue his servants;
   no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

Catching Up

So it's been a while...I know. I'm not very good at keeping up with this whole blog thing!

Today is a very busy day. I'm leaving for my trip in about 15 minutes! Wow. I cannot believe I'll be in Africa in a few days. I have a whole mix of emotions- excited, nervous, anxious. I'm sad to be leaving home for two whole weeks but I know it will fly by and the experience will be priceless.

So here's an update on some things that have been going on!

April- The Tennessee trip was awesome! I know I wrote about that but I didn't post any pics! Here's a pic of our cabin:)

May/June- I tried out for Wheel of Fortune! That was a very interesting experience! I went the first time to the Roanoke Civic Center with mom. There were more than 6,000 people who auditioned from Roanoke and Danville this year. They play three hour-long games (kind of). They had this big barrel on the stage with everyone's applications in there and they selected 5 names at a time. They only got to 30 per hour. I didn't get called the first hour. I was in the second to last group for the second hour. They called my name and I said, "Oh Crap!" I don't know what I was thinking- I wasn't thinking I'd have to get up on stage in front of over a thousand people and talk! Anyway, they said they would take the videos back to L.A. and they would send out an email in 3-4 weeks to those selected for final auditions! 

The week before we were headed to NJ to see Tiffany and Tristan, I got this email saying I was selected for final auditions. How crazy is that?!? I went to Roanoke the following week and there were 60 people in the audition room. It was intense! They did several puzzle rounds and called out people's names. I got 6 letters right and then they put me on bankrupt so that everyone would get a change to have their name called! Then we took a written test that was insanely difficult! It was 16 word puzzles with one or two letters in each word filled in. We have 5 minutes to figure out as many words at possible. I think I got 6 puzzles done haha. Most of the people around me got 4. It was definitely not easy. Anyway- then we had a break and when we came back, they let 50 people go. I was in that group of 50 (which I figured after the terrible test). They told us that the 10 people that were left were going to keep competing until they had 2 people. Those 2 people may or may not make it on the show. Apparently there was another audition earlier in the morning and they kept 28 from that group. They could only go back to L.A. with 30 names total!

We then left the next day to see Tiffany and Tristan! It was great catching up with them! I want them to move back home so badly! We went to Atlantic City, spent an hour on the beach, and hung out at their place playing games and watching movies. It was a good time:) 

The Friday after we got home, we threw a surprise party for mom's birthday. She was definitely surprised! All of her siblings and Mawmaw came up for the night and Tara even came from Massachusetts. It was a lot of fun and it was nice having my sister here for a few days:) She was here for our 4th of July celebration which ended up being all of us sitting on our front porch, hoping to see the fireworks from our house. It turns out that we can see the fireworks from our place, but only when there isn't a huge cloud in the way! 

Well now I'm leaving in about 10 minutes so I better get going! Say some prayers for our team while we are in Zambia! We have a long layover in London and should get to Zambia around 7 a.m. on Saturday. 

Until next time...

Waiting!

So the last couple weeks have been challenging...I'm in this place where I don't even know what it is that I want! I love my house, then I want a different house. I love going to school, then I can't wait to be done with the final class and cannot handle the thought of going further! Who knows what is going on. What I do know is that many doors have seemed to be opening in the last few weeks and then they are slammed shut. Things are happening that I know I have to wait at least a year for (i.e. licensure for counseling and for school counseling). I want to be debt-free (who doesn't, right?) but it becomes overwhelmingly frustrating to remember just how many schools loans I have to pay back (it might help if I'd stop going to school!)! I am extremely thankful that we have been able to pay (almost) all of Luther's loans before mine are due. God has blessed us to pay off almost $30,000! Wow! So anyway, Friday was my mini-meltdown moment! I became so frustrated and I wasn't even sure what exactly I was frustrated with (or why). Anyway, Friday night I thought to myself that I need to open up the Bible and see if God speaks to me. I feel like I try this a lot and I often either don't listen or can't hear because I don't get much of a response. My plan was to head for Philippians 4:13:

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.


But something told me to read the whole chapter this time. Amazingly, I found a verse that was perfect for how I was feeling. 
Philippians 4: 4-7


⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 


How awesome to hear God's voice telling me to relax, he's got it under control. Things will work out in his timing (which is better than mine), even when it seems like the current timing for things would be awesome. I need to rely on God. Our school loans will be paid off, our house payment will go down, I will finish school one day...His timing and plan are perfect.

Then today, I'm driving home from the Zambia fundraiser (another huge blessing), when I hear the John Waller song, "While I'm Waiting." I have heard this song several times but have never really thought about the message. I realized today that the song is exactly what I need to be doing. Even though I am struggling with thinking my plan is better (even though I KNOW it isn't), I will still seek after Him and follow his lead. I posted the chorus of the song below.

I will move ahead, bold and confident 
Taking every step in obedience 
While I'm waiting 
I will serve You 
While I'm waiting 
I will worship 
While I'm waiting 
I will not faint 
I'll be running the race 
Even while I wait 


 God is good and having to wait for His plan to come to fruition will be an awesome journey:)




P.S. It was calling for rain all weekend which would have canceled our car wash/hot dog stand fundraiser. Turns out that the team raised almost $1,400 in two days!! I am amazed at how many people came to get their car washed even though they knew the rain was coming. God is good!